I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
