I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Randomize