The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
