Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
