i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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