Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
