Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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