Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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