My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
