Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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