at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
