You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
