READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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