I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize