My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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