Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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