last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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