one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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