my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i out mim tonsoeep
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