There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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