I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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