Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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