its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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