pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
