I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
