She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
