The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
