good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
