If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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