just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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