On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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