Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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