cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
