We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
