Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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