Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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