You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
