I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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