OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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