I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
