Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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