so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
