Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
