My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
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