Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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