Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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