Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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