Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
