would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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