at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize