I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
