Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
