she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
