And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he puts the penis in happiness.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
