it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
