thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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