There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You smell like stripper and shame
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
