No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
