so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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