dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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