my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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