IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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