Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize