I think I am morally bankrupt
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
