Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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